Toilet rules and funny quotes

A collection of typical toilet rules and funny toilet quotes.

Big dreams start in small places.

Live, laugh, poop.

Gentlemen: Your aim will help. Stand closer. It’s shorter than you think. Ladies: Please remain seated for the entire performance.

If you drop it pick it up, if it runs out replace it, if you spill it wipe it, if you’re finished flush it, if it smells spray it.

Flush me well and keep me clean. I’ll never tell what I have seen …

No job is finished until the paperwork is done.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be sweat and wipe the seat!

Some come to sit and think others just to sit and stink.

My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.

This is where the magic happens. 

Smile. You’re losing weight. 

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.

Life is a lot like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll … or you’re taking shit from some asshole.

I don’t care if you like windows, run into walls, or occasionally pee on yourself, you hang in there sunshine, you’re friggin special. 

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time. 

Men to the left because women are always right. (or the other way round ;-)?)

Hey Sexy! Shut the door, drop your pants, climb on top of me, and satisfy your needs. Love always your toilet. 

Toilet seat: „Put me down“

How can a man who can hit a deer at 250 yards keep missing the toilet?

Here I sit broken hearted tried to poop but only farted. 

If you dribble when you piddle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!

In this house we aim to please. In this room (bathroom) you aim too, please.

Do not flush paper towels, sanitary products, tissues & wipes, kittens & puppies, hopes & dreams. Thank you!

To pee or not to pee … that is the question. 

My mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot. Except that they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat so whenever they see my mom they pee. 

 

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Be your own kind of wonderful.

Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean. Your aim will help. 

Help keep dirt out. Clean toilet rooms mean good health. It’s up to you!

Should this bathroom not be to a high standard of cleanliness or short of supplies, Please inform a member of staff at reception.

If at first you don’t succeed, flush, flush, flush again …

Please leave this toilet as you would hope to find it. Thank you.

Before you leave take a minute to clean

Your mother is not here. Please clean your own mess.

Keep kitchen clean.

Be considerate. Clean up after yourself. 

Please do not flush feminine products, trash or disposable wipes.

Keep calm and keep the toilet clean.

Keep your work area clean it is part of your job.

Toilet rules:
1. If you drop it … put it down.
2. If it runs out … replace it.
3. If you miss … clean it up.
4. If you’re finished … flush it.
5. If it smells … spray it.
Guys, stand closer, it may be shorter than you think!

Please ensure that this toilet area is left clean and tidy for the next user.

Please be sweet and take the seat.